Postby littlegrooves » Tue Nov 27, 2012 11:03 pm
I'm not Randy, but here is my guess:
MP: "Hey guys, I want to tour with this young metal-hip band called Avenged Sevenfold. They actually sell out venues in the U.S. and it would be cool to play for some non-musician audience members. Plus, the band worships me and I'll get first dibs on groupies. They might even give me a member-cut of the tour earnings cause I'm Mike Portnoy."
DT: "Um... okay, for how long?"
MP: "A year, maybe longer."
DT: "What are we supposed to do in the meantime?"
MP: "Wait for me to get done touring, of course."
DT: "Um... that might not work for us."
MP: "Well, then! It's my band, and I'm taking it with me! My band (stomps feet)!"
DT: "Sorry Mike, but we still have 2/3 of the founding members on our side and there is no contract, so we keep the name. After you leave, then we are going to do a mini-online soap opera about auditioning for your drum seat. Then, once you get kicked out of that teeny-bop metal band by a bunch of formerly "star-struck" twenty-something year olds for being an ass, then we still won't want you back cause our new drummer isn't a control freak and is fun to be around-- oh, and he's a better drummer than you are, to boot. You'll then have to form a band out of ex-Planet X/Alice Cooper/Niacin/Mr. Big members. You'll throw a fit while on tour in Manila and they'll get totally embarrassed having you in their band and they will break up after the tour. Then you'll create a band called "The Mike Portnoy Experience Project Experiment (a.k.a. TM -PEPE)" that will be comprised of recent Berklee drop outs who worship you and will want to play your groundbreaking tunes and put up with your sh*t. You'll be lead vocalist, back-up vocalist, guitar tech and play drums in the band, all at the same time. Interns from the audio program at the Art Institute of San Francisco will be forced to be your personal drum tech as a part of their community service graduation requirement."
MP: "Yeah, right... whatever, losers..."