Heroes/Idols and Hypersensitivity

[Pocketplayer]

when you insult someone's hero, a hero they're emotionally invested in because of a personality-related connection, it feels a bit like you're insulting them or their choices - on a subconscious level, and rightly or wrongly.

Bulls-eye!

[MARACATU]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7xxgRUyzgs0

[Old Pit Guy]

when you insult someone's hero, a hero they're emotionally invested in because of a personality-related connection, it feels a bit like you're insulting them or their choices - on a subconscious level, and rightly or wrongly.

Bulls-eye!

Can someone explain this "personality-related connection" to me? I just don't get it. If someone insults something I like, why on earth would the upshot of that be for me to take that personally? For example, there's always the guy who disagrees with conventional wisdom … say they don't like Vinnie Colaiuta's style at all. Would you become upset by that? It's the same for anyone or thing, isn't it? Or is it truly a matter of hero worship? I guess what I'm saying is that I understand this if you're still a juvenile, but as an adult it makes no sense to me. It has to be pathological on some level to take a bad opinion from someone else about someone else as a personal insult.

[electrizer]

It may be the way in which you deliver your criticism that is raising the ire of people.

^ this

You said that you had the idea for this thread from the Jojo one, and possibly from my reaction to your comment about his sticks, which is fair enough. However, I've learnt not to criticise people who are very successful and have made their name for themselves through hard work for petty stuff. Especially for petty stuff. Why? Because the person standing next to you can also say "Can you do it better?", and then I'd feel stupid. I also respect people's idiosyncratic choices because it's very often those ones which enable them to come up with something new.

The idea of emotional bond with an idol is a very real one, and I went through that too. But I stopped a long time ago having realised that once you identify yourself with someone too much you suppress your own thoughts (see: politics, religion, etc.) and...

it has to be pathological on some level to take a bad opinion from someone else about someone else as a personal insult

So yeah, I'm all up for questioning authority, but for stuff that is consequential.

[Old Pit Guy]

I should clarify my position. The original topic is about people getting yanked out of shape over this on the net, and that's what I'm talking about. I realize if we're to take a real world scenario where someone disrespects something you like or identify with, that's different. You probably know them, a friend or family, whatever.
This is all probably more blurring of the social media \ real world lines at work where identifying with perfect strangers over the net takes on some of the attributes inherent in real world personal attachments. That's what's so odd to me.

[gretsch-o-rama]

You said that you had the idea for this thread from the Jojo one, and possibly from my reaction to your comment about his sticks, which is fair enough. However, I've learnt not to criticise people who are very successful and have made their name for themselves through hard work for petty stuff. Especially for petty stuff. Why? Because the person standing next to you can also say "Can you do it better?", and then I'd feel stupid. I also respect people's idiosyncratic choices because it's very often those ones which enable them to come up with something new.

Is it that you think because they're successful they don't try to cultivate improvement in themselves? In fact, that' what kind of determines my respect for an artist I may look up to. True artists evolve. That's what makes them to be able to keep people interested in them for decades...and I would imagine it keeps themselves involved and engaged as well. People will always criticize. It's up to the people on the short end what they decide to do with it...And a bigger person, IMO, will take criticism and make it work for them....they don't retreat because they can't handle the 'truth' of someone else's opinion, IMO. Like Weckl said in that latest interview, if you're going to be an introvert and a musician, you may as well not bother.....

[gretsch-o-rama]

when you insult someone's hero, a hero they're emotionally invested in because of a personality-related connection, it feels a bit like you're insulting them or their choices - on a subconscious level, and rightly or wrongly.

Bulls-eye!

Can someone explain this "personality-related connection" to me? I just don't get it. If someone insults something I like, why on earth would the upshot of that be for me to take that personally? For example, there's always the guy who disagrees with conventional wisdom … say they don't like Vinnie Colaiuta's style at all. Would you become upset by that? It's the same for anyone or thing, isn't it? Or is it truly a matter of hero worship? I guess what I'm saying is that I understand this if you're still a juvenile, but as an adult it makes no sense to me. It has to be pathological on some level to take a bad opinion from someone else about someone else as a personal insult.

I pretty much agree with this 100%

[Gregory Merrick]

Sure. The emotional maturity of some people on the net is about half the age of the net itself...

This comment won't age well.

[Kurtis]

The origins of the Internet date back to the 60's. Semantics. People are fun.

[thewikiman]

Can someone explain this "personality-related connection" to me? I just don't get it. If someone insults something I like, why on earth would the upshot of that be for me to take that personally? For example, there's always the guy who disagrees with conventional wisdom … say they don't like Vinnie Colaiuta's style at all. Would you become upset by that?

You're giving two different examples. Something I like, as opposed to conventional wisdom. They may coincide, but no one really cares if someone insults conventional wisdom, they care if something or something they're invested in emotionally, is insulted. How is that hard to understand? I'm not saying it's in any way sensible, but anyone with empathy can surely understand it.

It's the same for anyone or thing, isn't it? Or is it truly a matter of hero worship? I guess what I'm saying is that I understand this if you're still a juvenile, but as an adult it makes no sense to me. It has to be pathological on some level to take a bad opinion from someone else about someone else as a personal insult.

I don't think so. If I walk into your house and say, hey your kitchen is a shit-hole, the artwork on your walls is abhorrent, I hate this place, you'd get insulted. (Save me the reply saying how you wouldn't be - I get it, you're invulnerable and don't care about anything ever, much less someone off the internet.) You'd be insulted because I'm judging the choices you've made. Drumming heroes are choices too, so you're insulting the taste of the person.

Personally I wouldn't be insulted by someone insulting Vinnie, even though he's my drumming hero, but that doesn't mean I can't empathise with people who take offence in these situations.