When drumming takes a back seat….

[JohnDrum]

I’m sure there have been times in all our lives when this craft of ours – as all-consuming, fascinating and addictive as it is – has been eclipsed by personal events which, by their very nature, take priority.

In the last 10 days, my wife has had a biopsy, been called in to the clinic, diagnosed with breast cancer, and is scheduled for radical surgery next week. I’m looking hard for positives: they caught it really early; the procedure will increase her life expectancy once treatment is complete; her Mother is still fit and well after the same experience three years ago – but it’s hard at times. I had to call my band mates (well into rehearsals in preparation for gigging in early Autumn) to let them know there’ll be a pause in our progress , and to be honest, as rewarding and exciting as the music is, right now it all seems a bit inconsequential..
I’m still reading all of the usual drum forums and posts on the internet: last week I was actively looking for a new ride cymbal and possibly a snare drum, but my heart’s not in it now. I find myself ‘forgetting’ about the horrendous situation she’s in, for maybe a few minutes, or even an hour when I get involved at work, but then it comes back like a slap in the face. Of course, I can’t let her know just how worried I am –she needs as much positive support as I can give, and the more normal we can make her life until the operation, the better. I’m sure she’ll insist on my going to rehearsals this week, but I just can’t.

I also know that things will level out once she’s recovered from the immediate trauma of the surgery, but so much of what’s going on seems so ….trivial somehow.

Apologies for such a serious post, but I need to let off some steam somewhere, and I know you guys will understand.

[langmick]

Sorry to hear that. Best wishes.

The drums will be there for you when you're ready.

[Clint Hopkins]

John,
I'm sorry to hear this news but the early detection is a good thing. I have more than a few family members, friends and acquaintances of various ages who have been diagnosed and are doing fantastic. I don't know if prayer is a part of your life but I offer mine. Be well. If you are so inclined please give us an update.

[electrizer]

John, you gotta be strong, man. She needs you like never before right now. I was going through similar situation last year with my mom so my thoughts are with you. It's a good thing to get stuff off your chest. Because of my mom's illness I've read tons of stuff on cancer and all that shit so if you need to talk or whatever just PM me. Everything's going to be allright, an early diagnosis is the key so she's lucky!

[Kurtis]

hope your wife gets better soon. catching it early is very good thing. i worked with a woman who is my age and she had breast cancer twice. she caught it both times herself. the cancer came back like 3 to 4 years later and they couldn't treat it as aggressively like the first time she had it. so they just cut it off and plastic surgery replaced the void. little bit of chemo some hair loss and she's good as new now. stay strong john.

[Riddim]

Balance.

[kinkymook]

John,
There's no rulebook for times like this. Make her #1 and be there for her, as we know you will. You'll both get through this as her condition improves, and while this is happening, don't forget that the drumming, whether by yourself or with your band, is very therapeutic and essential for a release, which you're going to need from time to time. Not now, but you'll have an idea when it's time to play, and when you feel it, do it. Your wife's condition will help you make that decision. Hell, she'll be the one to tell you to stop doting and go do something, I'm guessing! Hang in there, bud. We're all pulling for her and you.

[Josiah]

that's some heavy stuff John. they caught it early, swift action and the miracles of modern medicine are well in your favor. be there for her, and dont worry about anything else. the drums and music understand the situation and will be there for you as well.

[Matthijs Ament]

I wish you and your wife all strength and love you'll need to get trough this.

[Morgenthaler]

I am very sorry to hear that, John. All the best wishes for your wife and you.

Much strength and many good thoughts,
Jeppe